i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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