would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
