R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
