Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
