Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
