you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
