wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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