But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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