I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
