You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
