he puts the penis in happiness.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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