dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
