have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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