I need help removing her.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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