What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
only if we run a train.
done.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
