Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
