the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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