Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
