Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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