i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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