Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
