my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
