wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
