She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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