You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
