you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize