You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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