I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
