Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
