If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
NoShamevember. You game?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
