Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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