if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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