just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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