you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
