also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
