Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
