It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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