last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
