he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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