um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I believe in your delicious
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize