Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i believe in u and ur pee
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
