Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
