her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
