I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
