you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
