Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've blown a few things in my day
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
