i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
