Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize