Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
