I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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