Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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