so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
