she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
