You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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