i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
