I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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