How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A+ Viking dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
